The South Shall Despise Again

Gee I wonder why the south still can't let the Civil War go? And where's that Charlottesville guy to plow his car into a crowd when you need him?

Gee I wonder if wholesome school activites like this are why the south still can’t let the Civil War go? And where’s that Charlottesville guy to plow his car into a crowd when you need him?

 

Is it too late to still let the south secede?

Not since the Blue Collar “Comedy” tour has the irreparable rift between northerners, or normies, and southerners, or sister-humpin’ scum, been highlighted more plainly or obviously than by the current Fake President’s administration.  The decades-long marriage of Republicans and racists has finally produced an orange-tinged mutant offspring, and I’m wondering why we don’t just abort everything below the Mason-Dixon line already.

Think about it.  Literally the stupidest and most useless people ever in existence infest the south.  To live in the richest country in human history and have easy access to more information than anywhere else on the globe, and still manage to be as monstrously ignorant as the vast majority of simple-minded southern swine clearly remain is a truly impressive feat indeed.  I’m just wondering why the fuck we still allow these toothless hillbillies to drag the rest of America down?  And not just in nationwide IQ.

Let’s be real here: the Civil War never ended to these fuckin hick pricks.  Not just because of Reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, but because the south is home to the biggest sore losers—not to mention pussies—that have ever fought in any war in history.  150 fuckin years later and the south still can’t accept their ass whupping and North Face the facts.  So what do they do to cheer themselves up?  Besides being the only defeated army ever to pathetically re-enact their war every five minutes til the end of time?  They disgustingly cling to a bygone era by pretending it never ended.  They’re like the world’s biggest Pilgrim plantation.

And since the Civil War’s wounds are still somehow just as fresh as buttermilk bisquits to these county-fried fuckfaces, it’s very obvious that they wish slavery never ended either.  That’s the entire issue between the two halves of the country: the north toll.  The south not only got their mongoloid asses kicked, they had their pet black people taken away from them, and they’ve been hopelessly distraught ever since.  They’ve been putting collard greens and grits outside in hopes their negros will return home to eat, desperately searching local animal shelters and rap concerts, and have even resorted to putting up, “Have you seen this slave?” posters on telephone poles.

But they’re not coming back.  Sadly, most stray blacks get run over by cars or have Slave Control called on them when they get into people’s garbage cans.  If only their loving owners had got them a collar with a phone number on it, or even better, implanted one of those microchips that tracks them, called “Bro-jack”, then such terrible tragedies could have been avoided.

But until we real American Nanooks of the North finally sever all ties with our southern-dandified citizens for good, one tragedy we won’t be able to avoid is America gradually getting ruined by rubes.

 

 

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