The First Football-Free Weekend Of My Life

 

One week down...a shitload to go.

One week down…a shitload to go.

 

Those of you wise enough to have been faithfully reading my fan-tab-ulous blog since its inception may well recall my first Spew explaining my retirement from football fandom.  Well, we’re one week in and I’m proud to say I’ve kept my retinal virginity: I haven’t watched anything resembling a football game since that toilet bowl of a Super Bowl last year, and I gotta say, it feels good.

Now I can’t help but hear snatches of NFL-related conversations, and see a sprinkling of highlights–I’m not living in Communist Russia.  But I don’t seek out shit, and could care the fuck less about anything that happens.  I’ve been kinda surprised how easy it’s been to tell the truth.  But I still have to play the role and feign interest when some schmoe starts pontificating about the game.  It’s like I’m the one atheist in church; I’m just going through the motions without ever possibly buying in.

From what I’ve been forced to gather, apparently a buncha new muthafuckas are on different teams now, and the league has become a goddamn video game of offensive foolishness.  Seems I couldn’t have leapt off of the bandwagon at a better time.  Pats-Wets are tomorrow in as obvious an example of Good vs. Evil since the Allies vs. the Axis, and yet to paraphrase what Chris Rock said about Bush the II, if I had a pocket full of fucks, I still wouldn’t give one.

So stick to your silly Reindeer Games you poor saps.  I don’t need them.  Boxing and MMA are just like Method Man said: all I need to get by.

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