Souperman

 

Voilà. A big steaming bowl of perfection.

Voilà. A big steaming bowl of perfection.

 

Frustrated by the lack of quality soups available to me I decided to do something drastic the other night and make my own.

Dun dun dunnnnnn.

That’s right.  I can barely make toast and all of a sudden I’m putting my chef hat on and Gordon Ramseying some marvelous shit to get your mouth watering.  On some, “Oh shit.”

The reason is simple: I’m tired of crappy-ass soups.  The few pizza places that have them are always hit or miss regarding the amount of actual stuff they put in it.  You could order kale soup and get one fuckin leaf in the whole bowl.  Then the supermarket choices are abominable.  Campbell’s soup isn’t even filling to an African refugee, and Chunky’s just the opposite: there’s so much shit in there it’s like dumping a whole can of of dog food into a thimble of broth.  Progresso soups are okay, but the goddamn Z-grade quality chicken they use is barely edible.  It tastes like nothing but beaks.

So with that in mind I pulled out my trusty cookbook, aka my laptop, and looked up a chicken noodle soup recipe.  It’s easy as shit, you dump a buncha garbage in a pot and bounce for twenty minutes and then blammo, soup’s on.

And in all humble sincerity, it was the greatest muthafuckin soup ever made.

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