“The trick is to tell them you’re prejudice against all races.” -Homer Simpson on how to get out of jury duty
There’s a few minor irritants and news items clogging up the airwaves lately that each have some sort of racial component. Or at least they do when under the ever watchful and gleefully racist eye of The Spew. Stories like:
And Span – Few people hate forced YouTube commercial viewings more than me, but the new Crest ad is taking my hatred to an unprecedented and dangerous new level by doing it entirely in Spanish. The only fuckin word I can even understand in the whole ad is “Crest.” This never-ending pro-espanol garbage is ridiculous. I don’t go to goddamn Mexico and expect commercials in English, so why the fuck do Americans bend over backwards to let these idiots ignore our language? If you don’t want to learn inglés, then take your beaner ass back to beheading country, and if you want an American ad about which brand of toothpaste is best for removing taco stains, then don’t expect it in your rapid-fire gibberish of a language.
Chris Sucker – During one of the many brief interludes between porn viewings while online the other day, I stumbled on some click-bait entitled something like, “10 Celebrities You Won’t Believe Are Broke.” Eager to bask in the misfortune of others, I immediately checked it out, and was mildly surprised to see Chris Tucker’s glass-shattering voiced-ass appropriately high on the list. According to the article, he’s like 1.5 million dollars in debt or something. Turns out for those stupid “Rush Hour” movies he was paid in yen.
Tour De Worse – In perhaps the most ill-advised tour since the Siegfried and Roy reunion, Kim Jong Un’s favorite group, the all-girl cover band “The Gook Gook Dolls”, have taken their horrendous caterwauling to China of all places. Experts say Un may have miscalculated letting the girls leave North Korea however, since now they can jump off stage during their performance and blend in with their Chinese fans to the point of disappearing altogether. Like squinty chameleons.