Not Smart

Not since Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant has sports witnessed such an epic confrontation.

Not since Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant has sports witnessed such an epic confrontation.


By now, we’ve all seen the quite frankly hilarious footage of Oklahoma State guard Marcus Smart pushing some old dude and knocking him over, after Smart found himself sprawled in the stands following an attempted shot block.  I’ve watched the play half a dozen times, and Smart landed at the feet of an old white guy who was a fan of whatever team OSU was playing.  The shmuck looked down and said something to Smart with the unmistakable grin that only several beers can produce, and Smart sprang to his feet and shoved the amateur comedian on his old fat ass, while his worthless wife’s jaw dropped and she uselessly pointed at Smart as he was being corralled by teammates.

There’s been obvious speculation as to what exactly Oldie Oldstein said, and because of the differing races involved it was definitely a potential N-Bomb scenarrio—which would have then justified Smart’s ironically rather unintelligent response—but there’s about a one percent chance that’s what the catalyst was.  The real reason is much more nauseating and highlights precisely what’s wrong with Generation Puss.

Evidently, after being projected to do well this year, Smart’s been having a shit season to the point where his coach called him, “The most heckled player on the team,” and we all know how kids these days handle a little heckling: they’ve turned it into a fuckin international crusade against “bullying” for chrissake.  What the old dude said was probably no more cutting than something along the lines of, “You suck!” or some other such bland, heard-it-a-million-times insult from a drunken stumblebum in the stands, and Smart had a meltdown.  That gray-haired old fossil wasn’t a klansman, Smart’s just a baby.

Amazingly, coaches like Tom Izzo and Steve Alford—who played for the king of inappropriate outbursts, Bobby Knight—have now begun to blame social media of all fuckin things on Smart’s cowardly temper tantrum.  The idea is that young players today are bombarded with an endless flood of criticism from all forms of technology, and that’s why incidents like this are bound to occur more in the future.

Are you shitting me?  Look at the fuckin guy Smart shoved.  He probably doesn’t even know how to turn a computer on.  The real reason young players today are reacting to common incidents like such spoiled brats and coddled bitches is because that’s what this generation has become.  This is exactly what happens when you shield children away from even the slightest molecule of criticism: they grow up and act like pussies who can’t take the real world.  You fell into the stands and an opposing team’s fan talked shit to you.  What the fuck did you expect to happen?  The guy to help you up, offer you a sip of his beer, and give you permission to fuck his wife?

If this is today’s version of The Malice in the Palace, it reminds me of what Bunk Moreland once said, “Makes me sick muthafucka how far we done fell.”


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