NBA Layoffs

Tim "Mr. Charisma" Duncan may be thrilling fans with all the emotion of a cigar store Indian for the last time.

Tim “Mr. Charisma” Duncan may be thrilling fans with all the raw emotion of a cigar store Indian for the last time.


As more teams fall by the wayside while the NBA playoffs continue on to the conference finals, there’s a few last points to be made about the previous round:


King James Version – It’s funny how butt hurt LeBroad James clearly is over being overtaken as the league’s most popular and best player by impish three-point machine Steph Curry.  He takes thinly-veiled shots at the dribbling whiz kid every chance he can get.  After Steph won the first ever unanimous MVP (which is retarded in it of itself, how the hell was Jordan never unanimous?), James immediately took to the airwaves to gracefully poo-poo the unprecedented achievement.  When asked his opinion, James hemmed and hawed about some foolishness concerning semantics over “Best player” versus “Most Valuable.”  Basically, his point was, “Fuck that lil’ halfsy.  I’m still the best.”  When they inevitably meet in the finals in a few weeks, then we’ll really find out the answer.


All Kawhi-et on the Western Front – One of the most disappointing aspects of the 67-win Spurs second round exit was the subpar play from supposed superstar Kawhi Leonard.  Here’s another guy LerBroad refuses to give any real credit to, although after his uninspired performance in the playoffs, the King might have a point.  Leonard’s a great defender, but when his team needed big baskets down the stretch he was a sack of unreliable mediocrity.  Meanwhile I’m thinking to myself, this is the guy who finished second in the MVP voting behind Steph and ahead of LeBron?  I just don’t see it.  Leonard’s clearly not on that level yet.


The Bland Three – Speaking of the Spurs, their long-dreaded three-headed Ambien monster: Duncan, GInobli, and Parker, have become the TInkers to Evers to Chance of retirement.  So what’s next for these three, besides robotic emotionless, an ever-widening bald spot, and becoming the first Frog ever inducted into the Hall of Fame?  I’m guessing the worst Three Amigos re-make ever.


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