After mediocre MMA heavyweight and certifiable jackass, the aptly nicknamed Matt “Meathead” Mitrione, impressed no one by surviving a double knockdown to TKO what looked like former-great Fedor Emelianenko’s grandfather, he swaggeringly took to the mic to charmingly bellow, “Hey, President Trump, fuck the Golden State Warriors! I’m a real warrior. I’ll come to the White House. I’ll be good and honorable.” Right. Real fuckin good and honorable.
Immediately after duly noting my newfound and henceforth undying hatred for asshat Mitrione, it dawned on me. Oh yeah, I heard some shit about the Warriors not sullying their reputations even further by cavorting with a filthy commie traitor. That’s the only redeemable thing they’ve done all year. Although not surprisingly, much like their latest NBA title, the Warriors stole the idea.
A few months ago, The Ring Dynasty known as the New England Patriots made headlines when nearly half the team showed what some considered disrespect for a man who had a cameo in “Home Alone II” and skipped the obligatory White House visit. Golden State is apparently upping the ante by unanimously refusing attendance as a team. You would think that would make Trump happy. He just aired out the place to get rid of the black people smell that eight years of the Obamas left behind. Now he’s supposed to invite a bunch more jiggaboos and halfsies over so he can go back to wearing a clothespin on his nose? Me thinks not.
Truth be told, comrade Trump hasn’t even invited the Warriors to the White House yet. He’s likely arranging another slumber party with Sergey Kislyak instead. But despite the negativity, one member of the Warriors is still reportedly lobbying for an invitation, much to his teammate’s dismay. Then again, a kinship this strong is hard to ignore. After all, besides Trump, nobody knows better than Kevin Durant what it feels like to wake up and look in the mirror every day and know that you didn’t really win.