In an effort to panic the moronic masses, ebola has become the new darling of the media in recent weeks. Last I heard some doctor in New York City put the nation in a tizzy because the asshole went to Africa to waste his time with ebola patients, then he hastily hopped on a plane back to the states to continue his Ignorance World Tour in the biggest city in the country.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s no question what Dr. Death did was absolutely asinine…and by that I mean going to Africa in the first place. I’m so sick of hearing the poppycock that the idealistic shitheads who travel to the Wack Continent to help with the outbreak are somehow heroes. Thery’re not heroes, they’re morons. If you have such blatant disregard for your own life as to fly halfway across the globe to go play twister with a buncha ninety-pound ebola patients, that’s your business, but don’t come back home and try to pass off idiocy as heroism.
Especially unsurprising is that the hardest-hit counrty by the disease has been none other than the worst place on earth, Liberia. Previously famous for a fabulous culture of heroin smoking eight year-old prostitutes, and such lovely tourist attractions as Shit Beach (which functions as the massive outdoor toilet for the worst ghetto in Monrovia, the nation’s capital) the current ebola crisis has Liberian travel agents even less optimistic than usual.
Meanwhile, this so-called epidemic has been way overblown by a media that evidently wishes it were true. To date, ebola’s been responsible for four thousand people’s deaths in West Africa. Have you ever seen what a nightmarish dump West Africa is? If anything, four thousand’s not enough. And there’s not going to be any Outbreak scenario in the states because unless you go around bathing in infected people’s bodily fluids, you’re going to be just fine. The only potential problem is douchy do-gooders like that doctor scaring the shit out of everybody, because after all, so much shitting could help spread the virus.
Alls I know is that thank heavens we’ve continued to inexplicably pour an endless waterfall of cash on the place now that they’re re-paying us by trying to hatch the 21st century’s bubonic plague. I mean really, how many more billions of dollars are we going to keep wasting there? Africa is literally a black hole for American money.