Hilariously inept eighth-string quarterback “Papa” Geno Smith made news over the weekend when he committed the most awful atrocity imaginable. Ray Rice and Adrien Peterson look like a pair of popes next to this dastardly scoundrel. I mean, spousal and child abuse are clearly minor issues compared to this disgraceful scandal, and Smith’s finally managed to take things much too far. In the most shocking footage since the Zaprider film, Smith was seen on tape uttering (gasp) the “F” word!
Dun, dun, dunnnnn!
Please tell me people are kidding about this one. Smith did nothing more than cuss at a fan, and there’s people acting like he ran into the stands and Artest’d the guy. Some drunken stumble bum was shouting shit at the G-man, probably something along the lines of, “I don’t quite care for your quarterbacking abilities,” or, “I wholeheartedly support your opponents during your on-field endeavors,” and Smitty dropped an F-bomb on him, consequently the only bomb he dropped all day.
Let’s not do what a good girlfriend does and pretend this is bigger than it really is. I remember Robert Lipsyte telling a story about Mickey Mantle that should put the G-spot’s completely justifiable actions into perspective. In 1960 a fan jumped down from the stands at Yankee Stadium and punched Mantle. The next day Lipsyte, who was a young reporter at the time, approached the Mick to ask him about it.
“Go fuck yourself,” was the legend’s reply.
Lipsyte was confused. Surely the great Mickey Mantle wouldn’t be so rude without provocation. He must have asked the question wrong. Lipsyte began again, “Mr. Mantle I–”
At that point Mantle signaled to Yogi Berra, who he had been playing catch with, to throw the ball through Lipsyte’s hair. Lipsyte got the hint and scrammed, and “The Prick” resumed being an American icon.*
Could you imagine if that shit happened today? It would be the biggest story on the news; there’d be national outrage. Sponsors would head for the hills, lifetime bans would be bandied about, and the masses would descend upon Yankee Stadium with torches and pitchforks to slay the savage foul-mouthed beast that lurks within.
Instead, not a goddamn thing happened, which is exactly what should happen here. Smith being forced to apologize at the press conference is almost as much of a pointless embarrassment as playing for the Jets in general. In Smith’s defense though, at least he hurls insults better than he does touchdown passes.
*Source: “Muhammad Ali: His Life And Times”