Defecate-Gate

When he's not busy munching super model box, Brady's joyfully emptying his bowels on the rest of the NFL, starting with Roger Goodell.

When he’s not busy munching super model box, Brady engages in his other favorite hobby: joyfully emptying his bowels on the rest of the NFL, starting with Commissioner Roger Goodell.

 

Well, there you have it Pats haters.  Your first official “Fuck you” of the season.

I’ve tired of commenting on this utter foolishness over six months ago.  Like any sane Patriots fan has known would happen all along, Tom Brady just officially shitted on everybody when he shredded Goodell’s already sagging credibility like so many NFL defenses, and played in his fourth game Sunday in an absolute shellacking of the Indianapolis Cunts.  In the final hilarious “Fuck you” to Roger Goodell’s laughable four-game suspension, Brady just proved why he’s undoubtedly the greatest QB in the history of mankind, and why Goodell is the most inept NFL czar in history.

The funniest thing of all though is how easily I can imagine Goodell in his luxury box, stamping his feet like an outraged child every time Brady throws another touchdown in a game he wasn’t even supposed to play.  How many things can this clown fuck up in such a short tenure?  If he wielded any real power, and wasn’t merely the league owners’ water boy, he would have been fired a long time ago—like right around when he bungled the Aints investigation so horribly.

Either way, Patriot Nation’s collective chest can swell with pride once again at our superiority to the entire NFL, and yes, even the world.  Despite the agonized cries from resentful fans of the thirty-one other lousy second-rate teams and the hysterical, wild-eyed jealousy of the rest of the league, absolutely nothing has changed.  We’re still the best.  Eat it and like it you jealous bitches.

Let me decree here and now, anybody from here on who wants to address this obviously manufactured controversy of the World’s Greatest Team being labeled as so-called “cheaters” by any member of the conveniently outraged media, make sure to take the dick out of your mouths long enough to call us by our correct names: the muthafuickin Super Bowl champion New England Patriots.

Controversy = Over.

 

 

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