Sometimes black people just piss me off.
No, I wasn’t car-jacked recently, I’m talking about certain black people’s complete and utter ignorance or indifference concerning crimes involving their fellow Nubian brothers. Former comic and current has-been Damon Wayans made news the other day when he became the first person on planet earth to actually defend Bill Cosby. Even Bill Cosby won’t defend Bill Cosby. Wayans was on one of those retarded, interchangeable, and unintentionally comical black people radio shows: the breakfast club, or the hoo-ha club, or the prison yard club—I can’t remember which one. Either way, I’m sure he was there promoting yet another one of he and his brood’s appallingly terrible and hideously unfunny movies, and suddenly the fuckin guy starts saying that all these women are lying about Cosby because he’s black. And even though it’s the funniest thing Wayans has said in years, he actually wasn’t joking.
This is staggering ignorance on a scale that is difficult for the human mind to comprehend. Is he out of his bald fuckin mind to say some shit like that? First of all, nine-hundred women don’t come out of the woodwork with the exact same story because it doesn’t have any merit. For every one or two broads who might be glomming on to the rape bandwagon (aka the Shaggin Wagon), there’s literally fuckin dozens who are telling the truth. Secondly, Cosby’s the most mainstream black man in show business history. He’s America’s Rapist for god’s sake. Who the fuck wants to frame him simply based on his skin color now that he’s damn near eighty, while we have a black president? That’s paranoid, delusional, racist horseshit up there with any klansmen or Nazi.
This is the type of mind-numbing perpetually pro black idiocy that got O.J. off. When I watched the documentary on him the other night, one thing that struck me, other than his shockingly obvious guilt all along, was that race was not mentioned even one goddamn time in the entire hour-long special. How the fuck can you talk about the O.J. trial and not talk about race? Back then, no black person in America would come out and say what was as obvious as the slash on Nicole’s throat: that O.J. was guilty. This was when Howard Stern was still in his heyday, before a giant shiksa Barbie doll neutered him, and he had a running routine where they’d ask black celebrities if they thought O.J. did it. Ninety percent of the answers were nervous shrugs. The other ten percent? Firm “No’s.” Gee, I wonder what side of the fence Wayans came down on back then.
Now it turns out, thanks to the power of modern technology putting a portable video camera in every homie’s pocket, it’s been made clear to White America once and for all that as Dave Chappelle once put it from our crackery perspective, “Apparently the police have been beating up negroes like hotcakes.” Police overzealously enforcing crime in low-income neighborhoods, or what crime specialists refer to as, “Whuppin black people’s asses for no reason,” is certainly a big problem in this country, but hysterically crying “Racism!” every time a black celebrity commits a crime is ludicrous. So racism exists in the world, what in the ever-loving fuck does that have to do with framing Bill Cosby?
Wayans’ idiotic contention is that when Cosby started criticizing young black men, he lost them, and subsequently, they’re not defending him now. What the fuck is there to defend? The man already settled a lawsuit to avoid trial over this shit when fourteen different women filed a civil claim against him a decade ago. Not exactly the actions of an innocent man. And where the fuck is he right now? Imagine if you were falsely accused of drugging and raping over fifty women. Wouldn’t you be screaming from the fuckin mountaintops about your innocence? Wouldn’t you be openly challenging these women publicly to produce evidence, or that you’ll debate with them face-to-face over the accusations on live fuckin TV for Chrissake? That’s what an innocent man would do. A guilty man would just crawl into a hole and await old age to take it’s inevitable course, secure in the knowledge that he’s totally decimated his once-legendary legacy forever.
And as for the champion of downtrodden half-billionaire serial rapists everywhere, Damon Wayans, I bet if his sister Kim was on that never-ending list of Cosby’s victims, he would have a very different fuckin opinion indeed.