Cruddy Holly

Here's the goddamn Partridge family seconds before their moods brighten from a nauseating "imprompteau" family sing-along. Jesus Weezer, say it ain't so.

Here’s the goddamn Partridge family seconds before their moods brighten from a nauseating “imprompteau” family sing-along to a formerly great song. Jesus Weezer, “Say It Ain’t So.”


The current heavyweight champion of excruciatingly annoying commercials would have to go to the Weezer-inspired lame-fest of a Honda commercial that they’ve been running ad nauseum on every possible medium lately.  I’m sure you’ve seen it.  Evidently, the Dorkstein family has taken the old Honda out for a little family drive, so they piled all seventeen of their children into the car like any responsible parents would do.  Jesus, are these people Puerto Rican or something?  I guess that new Honda must have cut into their condom budget.

So anyway, as they cruise along in the dreary family atmosphere, one of the little shits starts pecking away at a piano ap on his phone.  The next thing you know, the whole faggy family is singing along to Weezer’s Buddy Holly of all things, and of course for the creshendo the little bratty broad hits the high note and sings the lyrics perfectly, even though no one on earth knew what Rivers Cuomo was actually saying until this ad, yet some twerp who wasn’t even alive when that song was a hit is somehow a living karaoke machine.

Three things immediately spring to mind.  Number one, that might be the corniest family I’ve ever seen.  Even Danny Tanner and Co. would call them a bunch of faggots.  Secondly, how fuckin depressing is it that a song I grew up loving is now being treated like Bohemian’s Rhapsody in Wayne’s World?  Hint number nine zillion that I’m disintegrating into old age in much more rapid a fashion than I realize.  And number three of course, how fuckin much do you want to see that family immediately get into a horrible fiery car crash?  The perfect next scene in that ad would be the Honda careening off a cliff like the O’Doyle’s in Billy Madison.



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