Cop Out

And they say black people don't like baseball.

And they say black people don’t like baseball.


“It was chickens coming home to roost.  Being an old farm boy myself, chickens coming home to roost never did make me sad, it always made me glad.”    -Malcom X, speaking days after JFK’s assassination


Somewhere David Simon is weeping.

The crown jewel of North America, Baltimore, has apparently descended into a Gotham-like madness over the last twenty-four hours, and sadly Mayor Carcetti is evidently powerless to stop it.  A few days ago, in quite frankly a perfectly ordinary turn of events, the police murdered a young unarmed black man.  Now while normally such ho-hum old-fashioned policework is a joyous occasion for the department, tragically this time the cheerful gunning down of a citizen for no reason is actually being frowned upon by the general public.  What is the world coming to?

I gotta say that I couldn’t be happier about the unbridled chaos happening right now.  The only bad thing about it is the ammunition it gives filthy racist Republican swine to say “See?” about those dirty darkies.  I was in the car torturing myself by listening to that snide old bastard Howie Carr, who referred to the victim who incited the riot as “Thug Freddie Grey,” before listing the teenager’s litany of minor and meaningless so-called offenses that resulted in his fuckin spine being broken.  That’s why black people are rioting.  Not because of the stupid goddamn trivial amount of melanin affecting their skin pigmentation, but because the police can’t go five minutes without murdering another young unarmed black man in this country.  It’s legal twenty-first century lynching.  Now finally we have the dead black kid that broke the camel’s back, and now on the news they’re filming an unscheduled re-make of “Do The Right Thing.”  And I thought Robo Cop was a wack sequel.

Radio Raheem-inspired violence hasn’t got the black community anywhere in over twenty-five years.  Descending into lunacy and looting just undermines their very justifiable outrage and anger at a police force that treats them like they’re targets at a shooting gallery.  All rioting does is provide an opportunity for racist hillbillies to repeatedly keep screaming Derek Vineyard’s dinner speech from the mountaintops.  Their whole argument basically boils down to the following: Those vile black apes just want to mindlessly loot and burn and cause violence…and it could happen to your town too!  The blatant fear-mongering on Fox News right now is like a live-action version of “Birth of A Nation.”

As always of course the narrative of The Right is predictably that this is all somehow Obama’s fault.  If they lost their car keys they’d blame this fuckin guy.  It’s not that two weeks after Grey’s death, the six officers implicated still haven’t said diddly poo about how their suspect wound up looking like Omar’s boyfriend Brandon, and that this marks approximately the zillionth such recent incident, it’s obviously Obama’s black skin.  No, the reason there’s inner-city rioting is that in 2015, every poor black dude from the hood has a portable movie camera in their pocket.  That’s why we suddenly have the updated version of The Black Death in every major American city.

Have you ever had a gun pulled on you by the police?  I haven’t, because I’m white and from a middle class if not a giant eyesore of a town.  All the times I’ve been pulled over for the obviously ridiculous suspicion of a DUI, the idea of being ordered out of my car at gunpoint and getting facedown on the ground is unthinkable.  Meanwhile the original co-creator of this illustrious website, the late Mr. Jason Epstein III, faced that exact treatment every time his black ass got pulled over in a town ironically just minutes outside of B-More.  One sneeze in that situation and he could wind up looking like Swiss cheese.

And speaking of Swiss cheese, Grey’s death is coming on the heels of the most blatant incident possibly imaginable, when last week in South Carolina a police officer aka racial hitman emptied his entire clip in the back of a fleeing suspect who was stopped for the capital offense of a busted taillight.  I guess shooting at him was easier than actually bothering to chase down a fifty year-old man.  Christ on a pony, couldn’t that fuckin cop have at least Fargo’d the guy and shot him in the leg like Margie Gunderson?  Then to add insult to fatal injury, after shooting the guy eight times the cop strolls up to him and tells him to put his hands behind his back!  Oh sure, no problem officer Chris Kyle.  And if that wasn’t heinous enough, the despicable scumbag drops his stun gun by the “suspect” then said the guy tried to take it from him, so he feared for his life and therefore had to use deadly force.  I shit you not.  If this entire appalling fiasco hadn’t been captured on someone’s cell phone, believe me that murdering lowlife pig would have got away with it too.

Since Ferguson, these same exact kind of incidents have piled up to the point where some inner-city residents have declared war on the police, and there’s been a rash of retaliation shootings of officers all of the country.  I for one am delighted.  Every time a cop gets shot an angel gets it’s wings.  Maybe if the police weren’t busy going on an endless nationwide killing spree they’d have time to get some actual fuckin policework done.  Until then, the citizenry they continue to murder with impunity will continue to respond with violence.  All I know is the projects weren’t exactly a glamorous vacation spot before, but with this new unofficial war between cops and thugs, Prodigy said it best: “There’s a war going on outside no man is safe from.”




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