It’s pretty hard to remember the doom and gloom mood following the Patriot’s disastrous 41-14 ass-raping by the Queefs on Monday night football a few weeks back. Now the Pats are on a four-game winning streak, they seemed to have smoothed out their seemingly severe problems with both lines, and Brady’s just played his best game of the season, torching the Queers to the tune of 30-35 for 354 yards and five TDs. Fans all over New England are starting to talk Super Bowl.
And they’re all out of their fuckin minds.
Let me be the bearer of bad news and pull the rug out from under any delusional title hopes: the Patriots are not going to win the Super Bowl. Now stop, and re-read that sentence again to let it soak in. I don’t give a shit how many chump-ass bottom feeders they pee on; none of those garbage pails will be in the playoffs. Over the next couple of weeks the Pats are running headlong into the teeth of their schedule, and they’re about to get chewed up and spit out.
They’re just not good enough to win it all. Why doesn’t everyone get this? They weren’t good enough two years ago when B-More Ray Rice’d the Pats and waxed them in the AFC Championship. They weren’t good enough last year when Denver slapped them around in another AFC Championship. And by the way, both years they weren’t good enough to beat the NFC team they would’ve faced had they some how miraculously made the Super Bowl. And what have they added to that clearly inferior squad? Darelle Revis and….nothing fuckin else. Sorry Krafty, that’s not gonna cut it. Denver’s assembled a goddamn all-star team around Peyton Manning the last two years and Brady’s working with a buncha ham-and-eggers.
The writing is clearly on the wall. This shit’s straight grafitti. I hate to say it, but there’s no other way to put it: this is probably Brady’s last season with the New England Patriots (region-wide gasps, cries of horror and disbelief).
You know something is rotten in Denmark when Brady’s pay is due to skyrocket out of the bargain basement after this season and the Pats suddenly drafted quarterback and unheralded shmoe Jimmy Crap-alo in the second round. If you listened closely, a collective “What the fuck?” could be heard throughout New England. The other tell-tale sign of a Foxboro Screwjob is that junk pile receiving corps Brady’s been saddled with when the Pats have more than enough dough to get him some much-needed weaponry. The fix is in, and the Kraft’s are moving on. It’s become clear that the Kraft’s simply don’t want Brady to succeed because then it will be easier to get rid of him after the season.
The Pats are famous for fuckin over and losing their greatest players over penny-pinching horseshit, just ask Curtis Martin, Lawyer Milloy, Ty Law, and Richard Seymour. AKA the best running back, strong safety (Rodney Harrison played free safety after all), cornerback, and defensive lineman in team history. Why not the best quarterback as well?
New England rules the JV division of football with the Wets, Fish, and Swills consistently dwelling at the bottom of the league. The Pats can fall out of bed and win four out of six divisional games every year, virtually ensuring a playoff game and maybe even a home one. So as the filthy rich greedbag Kraft’s look at it, why go the Denver route and spend a few extra million for another silly old Super Bowl? This way they can clear out space in their trophy case for another sack of money.